Ahad, 18 November 2012

FRIENDSHIP IN ISLAM

Islam lays great emphasis on friendship and encourages having as many friends as possible. In the Holy Qur’an, Allah clearly states that He too chose friends for himself; who were none other than Prophet Ibrahim, Khalil Allah, and Prophet Muhammad, Habib Allah.

While Islam encourages one to have friends, it goes a step further in guiding us that the following category of people should be avoided:

1. Al-Ahmaq (the Fool)
A person is generally judged by the company he keeps. By keeping a foolish friend, one confirms his own foolishness. A foolish person lacks the ability to reason. He can, therefore, cause a lot of harm to his companions even though his intentions are good.

2. Al- Bakheel (the Miser)
A miser does not have faith in Allah and the Day of Judgement when good deeds will be rewarded. He always believes that whatever is his possession has been acquired solely by his personal efforts and that giving away anything to anyone will mean a total loss to himself. Friendship with such a selfish person can be dangerous. At the time of dire and difficulty, he will make you suffer humiliation.

3. Al Kaadhib (the Liar)
This is a person who has a persistent habit of lying and deceiving. Imam Ali (a.s.) has said that a liar is like a mirage. He will bring a distant thing close to you and will make a close thing, distant from you.

4. Al Faajir (the Wicked/Sinner)
Your friends in this world will be your friends in the hereafter. Where will the wicked people and the sinners be on the Day of Judgement? In Surah Al-Infitaar. Ayah 13-14, the Holy Qur’an says; “Verily the righteous shall be in bliss and verily the wicked shall be in hell.”

There are three reasons why Islam does not permit friendship with this category of people.
(a) A sinner distances one from those who do good
(b) A sinner can easily influence others to commit sins
© A sinner does not know the greatness of Allah and will similarly not honour his friendship with others.

Imam Ali (a.s.) has said: “Do not befriend a sinner because he will sell you for a morsel.”

There are certain tips to remember if you wish to keep a stable friendship. Do not dispute with him and do not be hostile to him. Do not ridicule him. Do not quarrel with him. Do not hold him in contempt nor consider him to be lower than you. Do not claim precedence and supremacy over him. Do not crack indecent jokes with him.

(a) Accord friends the respect they deserve.
Respect begets respect. Some people have the tendency to ignore the duty of mutual honour and respect under the pretext of friendship. Normally, these people are seen using abusive language and severe criticism against one another. This attitude weakens the foundation of friendship and gradually leads to enmity.

(b) Be gentle and modest to your friends
In any society, a person who is gentle and modest generally becomes popular rather than the one who is proud and egoistic. A person with such good social behaviour always earns many friends.

© Guard the honour of your friends during their absence and after their death.
This means that one should not allow rumours about his friend to neither spread nor lend his ears to the backbiting of his friend by gossipmongers; and to always stay firm and defend a friend’s dignity and honour.

(d) Forgive the short-comings of your friends
Everyone makes mistakes in life. A true muslim is one who overlooks the shortcomings of his brothers-in-faith and friends. True friendship is for the sake of Allah. Friendship for any other sake is worthless.

The following qualities should be sought for in a friend;
1. Belief
2. Knowledge
3. Good Virtues
4. Abstinence from Worldly Pleasures
5. Loyalty

Moderation in friendship should be considered. One should not confide everything in a friend lest he turns into his enemy. The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.) has said, “One who does not wish to increase his friends from amongst his brethren, is in for a disappointment.” Imam Ali (a.s.) has said, “The weakest person is the one who fails to accumulate friends. And weaker than him is the one who after obtaining them, loses them.”

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